Winter Newsletter:
I have taken to tooting my horn. A lot. Like every ¼ mile. Just a quick toot; wouldn’t want to disturb anyone. I practice this religiously when riding at dusk or dawn, and especially in September, October, and November. I collided with a deer recently and ‘tweren’t pretty. (My version: the deer hit me.) When the weather cools, hunting season begins, the shrubbery shrinks, and the deer become quite active in these parts. Beeping the horn alerts the hungry buggers that I’m acomin’. Maybe they will stay out of my way, or maybe
they will spook and dart in front of me. Who knows?
They don’t see forwards very well; their eyes are way on either side of their heads. I suppose that this is an advantage for prey: they can see predators coming from any direction. Their hearing is sharp though. I have found that rapid short beeps gets them to move away from the sound source. Usually. Think of it like a dog barking. Their brains are on the tiny side though, so you never know for sure what they will do. I imagine it is much the same for my friends down under (animal hazards, not small brains) only with kangaroos. I have been advised that moving my head from side to side to scan will help to spot any movement, such as a running Bambi or kangaroo. What about deer whistles? Do they work? I have often postulated that they should be sold as elephant whistles. That way the manufacturer could absolutely guarantee that you will never, ever collide with an elephant. How about a helmet with built in deer (or elephant) whistles? Would they sell?
The deer (family Cervidae) comprises 43 species of hoofed ruminants in the order Artiodactyla. They are notable for having two large and two small hooves on each foot and for having antlers in the males of most species. They hate loud Harleys.
Loud pipes may save lives if car drivers hear you coming, but they definitely freak-out the Cervidae. Once one of these buggers freaks out, maybe from a stupidly loud motorcycle, or maybe because it’s hunting season and his best friend, who was standing next to him just had his head blown off, it may run at full tilt in a perfectly straight line, regardless of cross traffic or anything else. Like a single, crazy, 100+ pound lemming or a buffalo stampede of one, they don’t stop until they run out of steam or collide with something, maybe a car or a motorcycle. They are fabulous runners, and don’t run out of steam very easily. By the way, for the truth about lemmings, visit https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/lemmings-do-not-explode-or-throw-themselves-cliffs-180953475/ Anyway, watch out for elephants, kangaroos, deer and other critters.
There are other unexpected benefits from frequent tooting. For one thing, your thumb eventually learns where the horn button is and if you need a quick toot at a car, a deer, or a pretty girl, reaction time is noticeably reduced by the extensive practice. A few weeks back, I tried practice tooting the horn on my CB500T and discovered that it didn’t work. A wire simply was detached, but what if I didn’t notice until I really needed the horn? Frequent tooting is the only way to know for certain that your horn works. Frequently, the horn “clears its throat” when exercised regularly, making the note louder and more urgent sounding….a good thing. Through frequent tooting, I noticed that the dual horns on my recently acquired R100/7 are very temperature sensitive. They work very well at 50° + but barely croak at 30°. Good to know!
And here is another less obvious benefit: most bikes do not have a gauge to monitor battery condition or charging system performance. Your horn is a voltmeter. If you toot frequently, not only will the deer be forewarned, not only will your thumb be educated, not only will you know right away if your horn is inoperative, but you can monitor line voltage which directly affects the tone of your horn. Once you have tooted regularly for a few days your ears become attuned to the normal sound of your horn. If your charging system or battery has a
problem, you will notice your horn’s note beginning to drop in pitch. If 13.5 volts gives a D#, then 11.8 volts might only make an A-flat. Time to check your electrics.
I know I am raving. Winter does that to me. I think I will go write some ride reports so as to re-live some of last season’s rides. The 2022 schedule just posted and I could begin planning next season’s rides. In a few weeks the days will actually begin to get longer. The extra daylight will surely help restore my sanity. And of course, there is Christmas, just 2 weeks away. You could do someone you love (and yourself) a big favor by printing the following and leaving it in a conspicuous place. Spring, after all, is just around the Corner.
Plan to ride! Happy and healthy holidays to you all.
WHAT WAS TRUE THEN IS TRUE
FOR THE HOLIDAYS!
Old motorcycles are fun! RIDING old bikes brings one back to a place that’s a bit slower and simpler. RetroTours can take you there. We’ll tend to all the details. Come ride, and
feel young again!
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RIDE A PIECE OF THE PAST ON THE PATH LESS TAKEN!
JUST DO IT.
CHEERS!
joel @ retrotours! | 
